Let's be honest here, dudes. We're absolutely screwing things up/over/to hell. Look around. Our brains/lives/relationships are a goddamn mess/disaster/train wreck. We spend our money on useless crap. Our goals/dreams/aspirations are gathering dust like that ancient cereal in the back of your pantry/pair of shoes you haven't worn since high school/guitar you swore you'd learn to play. We're headed for a wall.

Maybe it's time we tried harder/faced facts/admitted defeat and just accepted our fate?

“2. Meant to Be Fucked by You, Guys”

You guys have about this, right? This is the here real deal, the kind of shit that gets your blood pumping. No room for weaklings here, only those who need it all. We're talking about getting lost and feeling every bit of the ride.

• Dump that boring stuff you’ve been seeing.
• Here's where the real excitement is.
• Take what you deserve: a wild, powerful experience.

You're not demanding. We’re just telling you the reality.

fellas: Dude Nail This chick Right Tonight

Look, I'm not Messing around. I'm feeling it right now and I need some Satisfaction. Don't Screw around with Chat, just Make love to me already. I'm Wet and waiting for you to Get down and dirty.

Don't be a chicken, I know you want to.

Help! Those Assholes {Want to Fuck Me|Have It Out With Me Sexually

I mean, come on! It's like they can't Get the Message. I've been trying to Make it Clear, but they just {Keep Coming Back|Won't Leave Me Alone . It's getting {ReallyAnnoying.

• I Really Need To Talk to My Landlord About This.
• Seriously| This is getting Way Too Intense.

Honestly, I just want to Live My Life in Safety! Is that too much to ask?

Bro's Fire this Fucking Insane

Tonight, we're gonna blow the roof off. I'm talking about a night you won't forget. We gotta raise hell and go bananas. I've got {a playlist on fire|some banging tunes that will make you lose your mind.

We're taking over the place all night long. So, are you ready to party like there's no tomorrow?

Let's make this a story we tell for years.

Fuck It, I'm Calling the Guys

Sometimes, life/shit/problems just gets too much/out of hand/stupid. You're tired/pissed off/done and the only solution is to hang out with your friends/grab some beers/get wasted. It doesn't matter what you're doing/working on/feeling. Just grab your phone and call up the bros/boys/crew. They'll understand/be there for you/probably judge you no matter what.

• It's a rite of passage/guy thing/solid plan
• Beer solves everything, right?
• They'll probably tell you to chill out/make fun of your situation/suggest a wild plan.